


Am I Mad?

by just_another_fangir2



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger Management, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hearing Voices, Hope, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Torture, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 13:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19669513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_fangir2/pseuds/just_another_fangir2





	1. The Girl who has secrets

**Adelaide’s Point of View**

I sat up in my room as the door opened. They only come in here when they bring my medication or meal. I don’t know the time as they do not allow a clock in my room, but I count the seconds difference; there is nothing else for me to do. A nurse came in holding a gun directly at my head. The nurses here have guns. I stood up and turned around putting my hands behind my back so she could put the handcuffs on. Once she was sure they were on securely; she backed away as I sat on my bed with my head cocked to the side out of curiosity. I never have visitors; we aren’t allowed them. Who would want to see us anyway? I hoped it wasn’t the doctor, he always says that the voice in my head aren’t real. He touches me sometimes saying that it will make me better. I never really understood, it just made me hurt. I was snapped out of my thoughts as a man and a woman entered wearing casual clothes. Maybe they were police asking me questions.  **Stay away from her.** I snapped my head to the lady who jumped back in surprise. She hand long wavy brown hair with calm green eyes. She wore red and black with rings on her fingers and rows of necklaces.  **Her name is Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch. She will get into our head. Keep away from her.** She tried to look confident but she was on edge in my presence which satisfied me a little, we were both scared of each other. I snapped my my head to the man who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His stone cold face didn’t flicker a sign of emotion. He had long tousled brown hair and violent blue eyes.  **James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier or now the White Tiger. His right arm is metal** **_. He was controlled by HYDRA until the Avengers got him. He’s trained to be emotionless._ ** So this was how it was going to work: she was going to get information out of me and he was going to torture me if I don’t. I have nothing to tell them, the voice might, but I don’t. ‘Hello Adelaide, my name is Wanda and this is Bucky. Is it okay if we ask you a couple of questions?’ her voice shakes slightly.

I blinked once before rocking back and forth, she flinched slightly at my movement ‘it’s Freya’s birthday today, she’s in room hundred-twenty-two. She doesn’t like the Avengers, she tried to burn down the tower. She was convinced that she had the powers to manipulate fire. Turns out she didn't. Burnt half her face,’ I said in a little sing song voice smiling. I remember when the voice was telling me about her when she first came here when I was thirteen and she was in her early twenties. She left for a little while when there was an accident, but came back after a year. ‘Do they tell you all this?’ Wanda continued taking a step forward out of confidence. The man didn’t even move, he looked like he wanted to kill me. ‘Can I tell them?’ I asked the voice. 

Wanda looked at me weirdly wondering if I was talking to them, but James’ face stayed neutral. **They probably guess something, so go ahead.** I smirked slightly and lent forward careful not to fall of my bed. ‘Can you keep a secret?’ I giggled smiling at Wanda who took a step back looking at James unsure. ‘There’s a voice, in my head. They know everything,’ I whispered, giggled and then sat back in my position. ‘But it’s a secret. The doctor says that there isn’t a voice, he’s very silly. But I know you are not, you’re very pretty by the way. Can we be friends?’ I started jumping up and down at the idea of having friends. I never had friends before. They all thought I was mad. I wasn’t mad to begin with, just the voice. But being locked up in here for six years makes everything very confusing. There was a long silence. I started to panic, maybe she didn’t want to be my friend. She wasn’t going to keep my secret. ‘You don’t want to be my friend!’ I cried out throwing myself back against the wall. ‘You’re not going to keep my secret. You lied to me. You’re just another person who thinks I’m mad.’ I stood up and went over to the locked door, Wanda jumped to the side slightly whilst James twisted himself so he could see more clearly. ‘I’m not mad, I’m not mad,’ I repeated banging my head hard against the door. **Stop! Stop!** The voice screamed in my head, but I didn’t listen. ‘Get out of my head!’ 

I barely had time to realise that James had removed himself from the wall and had his metal arm round my waist as Wanda stood in front of me a red flame in her hand. I gasped before the flame came into contact with my temple. I went limp in James’ arms.

_ ‘A gentleman has come to see you Adelaide,’ mother said opening my bedroom door with a young man behind her. I sat up with a smile little smile. He had black hair which was stuck down on his head with a lot of gel and large rimmed glasses. My mother smiled sickly at me before closing the door. The man sat down beside me and looked at my dolls. ‘My name is Doctor Rayne, your mother called saying that you heard a voice?’ _

_ I nodded slowly. ‘I do, I think it is just my conscious,’ I smiled politely before offering him a seat which he accepted. ‘I want to help you Adelaide, will you let me do that?’ _

_ I nodded standing up and sitting on my own bed chewing my thumb. His pupils suddenly dilated. ‘You shouldn’t of done that littlun,’ a wicked smirk came across his face. _

_ Ten year old me frowned in innocence. He walked towards me like an eagle hunting a rabbit. Before I could understand what was going on, he lunged at muffling my screams and shouts with his large hand. ‘This is gonna hurt.’ _

_ My clothes were removed and he had his flies undone.  _ Everything went black.


	2. Stuck in my Mind

**Bucky’s Point of View**

I laid the girl back down on her bed unlocking her wrists. She was restless moving around in her sleep. Her long brown hair was all stringy from where they hadn’t allowed her to wash. Apparently the last time she did, she tried to drowned the nurse who was helping her. She was so small and tiny that I could break a bone with my finger and thumb. And her grey eyes, how large and sad they were even though she radiated playfulness. Her actions, words and personality were unsettling, but there was also something there trying to get out. She wasn’t naturally mad; I could see that. But she wasn’t sane either. Maybe this place drove her mad with nothing to do except from the voice in her head. It didn’t sit right. And that voice, we were sent here to find out what it was about by Fury. I thought it would be just another mad person, but this was different. I forced my eyes away to see Wanda falling over in pain. I quickly caught her, making sure not to touch her with my metal arm. ‘Wanda, Wanda,’ I called out setting her down on the bed next Adelaide. She groaned slightly, rubbing her head. Tears streamed down her face making me tense up. I didn’t how to deal with emotions especially with someone that I didn’t really know. ‘Did she hurt you?’ anger was evident in my voice.

‘No Bucky, the poor thing,’ she sobbed placing her face in her hands. 

I stood up straight awkwardly standing like to attention, it’s a habit. ‘What did you see?’

‘I-I don’t understand, how can someone do that to a young child.’

I was starting to get agrivated now. HYDRA was still out of my head but my anger and violence had become a part of my personality. My fists clenched and unclenched twitching to punch something. Wanda sensed my building anger so calmed herself down so she could explain. ‘She always had a voice in her head, I don’t think it was brought on by a traumatic event. In the memory, Adelaide was around ten, eleven and this all occurred in her room. Her mother comes in saying that there was a gentleman to talk with her. Her mother left her with the man. He starts by saying that he could get rid of the voice in her head which she agreed with but then suddenly he pounced on her on her bed and-and took her clothes off,’ Wanda ended in a sob.

I looked down at the sleeping girl who still shifted around in her bed shaking and sweating in fear. ‘We need to go,’ I said flatly before unlocking the door.

Wanda gave me a look before quickly scurrying out. 

I repeatedly punched the punching bag which flew off the ceiling bursting beads all over the floor. With a sigh, I threw it down with the other bags which I had destroyed and grabbed another. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She said that she trusted us. She trusted me. Even as I stood with an emotionless express. I knew she knew who I was and that she knew more than anyone else, but she still trusted me: a murderer. ‘Wanda wants to go back there tomorrow,’ Steve’s voice came from behind me. I didn’t bother to turn around. ‘She said that you should go as well as the girl trusts you; but if you are not up to it, Sam said he was willing to?’

‘I’m going,’ I said through gritted teeth throwing another punch. 

Seeing that I wasn’t up to anymore conversation, Steve left. I didn’t need to look behind me to know that he wore a disappointed face. I am not the same man from the old days and neither was he.

‘Here’s the key, I’ll be standing outside, so if she tries anything call me. She had a fit last night so she will be less cooperative,’ the guard said passing me the key all the while ignoring Wanda’s intense glare. She could scare a rabbit out of its borrow with that look. I nodded once before opening the door allowing Wanda through first. Once I had taken my place on the wall, I allowed myself to have a good look at Adelaide. I was surprised at what I saw; her eyes were more sunken and dull without the little spark they had yesterday, her hands were still tied behind her back but she sat on them as if to stop herself from fidgeting. But that wasn’t what first caught my attention, it was the blood that splattered her oversized white top. I watched as Wanda sat down on her bed but far away as not to scare her. Adelaide’s face contorted slightly which I figure was when the voice was talking to her. ‘Can we ask you some questions Adelaide?’ Wanda asked softly fiddling with one of her many bracelets. Unlike before, Adelaide just sat there staring of as if she was remembering something. Wanda looked at me unsure but continued anyway, ‘do you know who the voice in your head is?’

She turned slowly to look at Wanda before nodding her head, ‘there is a boy in room fourteen in building 2a, he killed his older brother in self defence; he speaks to him. In room hundred and twelve there is a boy named James who lost his mother in a car accident; in the room next to his is his twin sister Hope. She wasn’t mad, she just refused to leave the hospital until James did. He never did, so they locked her up in the room next to him claiming she was one of us. She hears his voice in her head. I know who the voice in my head belongs to but I will never tell anyone, ever,’ she said the last bit through gritted teeth but she was in a daze as she said it all.

‘You seem distant,’ Wanda commented slowly.

‘I had an adrenaline fit last night so they put me on extra meds.’ Her face contorted slightly again signalling that whoever was in her head was talking. I hid my arm behind my back worrying it was scaring her. ‘Whose blood is that?’ Wanda cautiously asked.

‘Shush, I’m trying to talk to the nice lady,’ she suddenly snapped at the voice in her head before turning back to Wanda. ‘Sorry, what did you ask?’

‘Whose blood is that?’ Wanda asked again a little more confidently.

Adelaide’s facial expression flickered again. There was a long pause before a smile came over her face, she made a buzzer sound, ‘time up.’ She giggled at her little joke before a flash of pain went over her face and she held her stomach. ‘Adelaide, are you okay?’ Wanda shuffled closer to her worry covering her face. I had noticed that she had formed an attachment to the little girl. I guess I have to. ‘I’m okay, he looked after me more after my fit.’

I was about to question her before she sat up straight, ‘look after Adelaide, she doesn’t understand,’ Adelaide said all of a sudden with a flat face.

Wanda glanced at me as I took a step forward. ‘Who are we talking to now?’ she asked backing up. 

‘Adelaide was never given time to learn and grow up therefore she doesn’t understand what he does to her is wrong,’ she said again before Adelaide fainted. 


End file.
